


I believe in nothing (100 suns until we part)

by promisesofhappiness



Series: Ereri oneshots [4]
Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Alternate Universe, Angst, F/M, Fem!Eren, M/M, Pining, Reincarnation, Suicide, Unrequited Love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-04-10
Updated: 2014-04-10
Packaged: 2018-01-18 22:05:52
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,948
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1444543
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/promisesofhappiness/pseuds/promisesofhappiness
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Eren believes in nothing. He believes in nothing but the beating of their hearts.</p>
            </blockquote>





	I believe in nothing (100 suns until we part)

**Author's Note:**

> I wanted to do a reincarnation au, because I adore them. Title and summary from 100 suns by 30 seconds to Mars, which is a beautiful song, and you should listen to it. Just saying....

 Eren dies young. Too young to have enjoyed life, too young in a world that is corrupted to its core and the terror is firmly lodged in the people's hearts. He is born as Humanity's Greatest Hope, Humanity's Last Hope, and all these titles mean nothing to him. He doesn't believe in them, in the vanity and the lust and the war all around them. He sees people dies around him, has seen countless and too many bodies fall prey to deadly jaws, become food to the monsters that never stop, that shouldn't be. He sees people cut in half, choking on their own blood and fighting to half their intestines inside their own bodies, and it's such a grotesque sight in makes his neck burn and his stomach lurch to get free of the meager food offered to them, the Scouting Legion. Fools, they called him, suicidal, but they all seek them out in times of need. The irony doesn't escape him.

He dies a hero. That's how his name will be remembered. Hero Eren Yeager, the last of the titan shifters, the one who won. Semantics. The fact that he is dying is not something they care about. He served his purpose, killed the titans and it's time he's put to rest. Hanji has been fighting to keep him alive for a few days more, just enough for Erwin and Levi to return, to say their goodbyes to their comrade. The Military Police hangs around, just in case the monster recovers, and their scornful whispers grate on Eren's ears. _Make them stop_ , he wants to say, _make them leave_ , but he's too week and tired, and he wants this to end. But, he has to wait. He must wait for Levi, as he promised. So he hungs around, sleeping and not eating, and his wounds are so, so painful.  And then Levi is there. All stormy eyes and his hands are calloused and warm in Eren's. They both now Eren can't be saved, and even if he did, all titans must die, and Levi would never be able to follow through his orders, and the promise he had made all those years ago. So he makes Eren promise that they will meet again, in another life, in another universe, where they will not be fighting for their lives. And Eren promises, because, even if he doesn't believe in anything, he believes in Levi. 

Eren Yeager dies that night. A hero off 22 years of age. A tragic figure in the most brutal world.

* * *

 

There are girls all around her, giggling and batting their painted lashes at the boys at the other side of the room. Even Sasha, the usually tomboyish and careless girl, is wearing her best dress, hoping to be asked to dance. Eren sighs, and glances at the dancefloor, where her only interest is dancing. With someone that is not her. She doesn't know what is harder on her. The fact that Levi doesn't remember their promise, so many ages and worlds away, or that he considers her a 'close confidant' nowadays, someone to share his thoughts and laugh around. He only has eyes for one girl tonight, and she has long, long brown hair that looks soft to the touch, and a petite body. She is an aristocrat, like Levi, and nothing like Eren and her rough wool clothes and short hair. She is a maid, and a maid shall remain, and this life has no purpose, if Levi is going to pretend she doesn't exist every time _she_ is in the same room. So, she leaves the manor without saying the goodbye she was here for, and not once does she look back. She has to leave France tomorrow morning, to early for Levi to wake up.. She goes to the little house her family shares, and packs up her remaining clothes. Not much, but enough to last her in America with her uncle. Her mother's eyes brim with tears, and her father is oddly solemn, but neither comments on it.

  _America is everyone's dream. It's big, and the land is furtile, and there are jobs, so many jobs_ , she writes in her letters home. _She made friends, and is gathering money, enough to send some to them,too_. Her father is more formal is his letters, thanking her, and asking after her well being. **_Levi has here_** , her mother tacks in, _**he was asking for you, pleaded for a letter**_ , and Eren swears her chest shouldn't be in this much pain. But this life is not for them, and he must forget her. So she doesn't contact him, and he doesn't stop trying.

He names his first daughter after her, and she wants to scream her pain

* * *

 They are all far too thin, so thin it is almost incredible that they are still alive, able to walk and do chores. It's inhumane, but it's Hitler's Germany, Hitler's dream and everyone's nightmare. Onl a blind man would like this, this farce of a war. Jews, gays, everything that the leader of Germany considers an anomaly is cursed to this hell. Eren swears he will always remember their faces, the looks they give the soldiers when they eat, setting up a whole feast in front of the starved faces, gunning down anyone who dares plead, or approach them. Eren hides food in his pockets and later, in the nights when the rest are heavily asleep, he distributes it to the prisoners. They thank him, even go as far as to kiss his hands, and he shakes his head. He doesn't deserve any of this. He is a monster, but he is human.

He keeps some chocolate apart, and gives it to the raven haired man that holds his heart, even after so many lives, without even having any recollection. The French Jew thanks him, and it's the first time Eren sees him like this, defeated and too tired. So he tries his hardest to pass him more food, while he hears the news about help arriving, Russia and USA,France,Great Britain pushing the Nazis back. He tries to keep Levi alive, and he succeeds, because they are here, just out the gates. The German soldiers try to make a run for it, others try to take down as many prisoners as possible, and mayhem ensues. There are screams, and gunshots, and Levi's body is so,so fragile under his. But he is alive, the both are. And then pain. So much, it's extruciating. Levi is yelling in French, and his tone is pleading, first as someone behind Eren, and then at Eren himself.

 _S'il vous plaît ne pas aller_ he says, but the pain is to much, and the bullet is lodged in his lung. He is the one to die, again, but he doesn't mind it much, because Levi is alive, Levi will be safe. 

* * *

 They are friends, again, yet, this time, it's different. Armin and Erwin are here, and Erwin apologised, because he's been the one who'd shot him back,back then, during world war II. The two blonds are a couple, and it's oddly fitting, to see them together, Erwin lean down and kiss Armin, oh so tender and lustful. But, Levi still diesn't remember, and Eren can't sit back and watch him fuck around. He goes out, to diskos and clubs, gets drunk and high and fucks and gets fucked, hoping to get the raven out of his mind. He finds Jean, and they fuck just for the heck of it, and it's not right, seeing Jean on top of him, feeling him inside. They agree to never do this again, but they keep in touch, go out together. Levi complains that they are not spending enough time together, he spends all of his time with Jean or in the diskos. But, Eren ignores him, because there is a blond girl on his side, in his life. It goes on, and they lose contact, and Levi learns about him through Armin and Erwin, but it's not the same. Levi dies two years later, in a car crush. Eren follows soon after, a victim of the poor health system.

* * *

  It's the first time she has Levi, and still doesn't. They are both rich, and their parents marry them off, because it's good for the family name, they have to have an heir of both families. So, Eren is Levi's wife. But not his lover. No. By some stroke of bad karma, Levi is gay in this life, and their sexual intercourse is cold and purposeful. Eren is sure Levi hates her, hates her for forcing him into a marriage he doesn't want, even though it's not her fault. They are cold and formal to each other, and it's bearing on Eren's already fragile soul. So she rolls with it, does whatever he wants her to, and they reach a tentative friendship. She catches him multiple times above other boys, in their bed, fucking into them slowly and passionately, moaning. They are the times she turns around and hides away, for days on end, refusing to go out. They reach a point where Levi seeks her out, pleads her to get out and get something to eat, doesn't know she's seen, doesn't know how much she hurts. She is not enough, she will never be enough, and it's been on for too many times. Yet she continues, and watches him when he 'makes love to her', the way he is repulsed and refuses to touch her for days on end. But, she gets pregnant, and it all stops, to Levi's relief. Eren distracts herself by going on shopping with Mikasa, buying clothes for the little baby. During her pregnancy, Levi doesn't bring any boys home, buys her presents, and she wonders how thankful he is for the lack of touching.

 She gives birth to a beautiful baby boy, the heir they all wanted so much. Levi practically adores him, cares for him. It would be perfect, had he not started ignoring Eren again. She feels more alone than ever, and when she catches him fuck a boy so much alike to her when she was a he, it's her last straw. She drinks up three whole bottles of wine and walks of a bridge.

* * *

 Levi is the one to find him this time. Eren is withh Mikasa at the local Starbucks, and there is a song quietly playing. "I believe in nothing, not in war and not in peace" the singer croons, and Eren agrees wholeheartedly. He gives his order and looks around, bored out of his mind. And that's when their eyes meet. Levi is sitting alone, a macbook open in front of him, and his eyes look at Eren, so pained and remorseful Eren knows he knows. So he nods at Mikasa and makes his to Levi, taking the seat right in front of him.

"I am sorry" Levi says, and it's enough.

They are an established couple, and it's the happiest Eren has ever been in all of his lives. The make love, and Eren rides Levi hard and fast, slow and sweet, drowning out their orgasms, making it even more intimate, even more loving. He loves it when Levi is above him, their bodies alighned, on fire. He feels him, big and assuring inside of him, opening him up and offering his the greatest pleasures. He smells him, sees him, tastes him. He sleeps on his chest in the nights, listening to his heart. He remembers that song. I believe in nothing, but the beating of our hearts.

Yes, that's something he's willing to believe in.

 

 

 

 


End file.
